Ever wondered why some ‘masculine’ lesbians date other masculine women? Here are some answers

Butch and femme are terms used in the lesbian subculture [1] to ascribe or acknowledge a masculine butch or feminine femme identity with its associated traits, behaviors, styles, self-perception, and so on. This concept has been called a “way to organize sexual relationships and gender and sexual identity”. Both the expression of individual lesbians of butch and femme identities and the relationship of the lesbian community in general to the notion of butch and femme as an organizing principle for sexual relating varied over the course of the 20th century. The word femme is taken from the French word for woman. The word butch , meaning “masculine”, may have been coined by abbreviating the word butcher , as first noted in George Cassidy’s nickname, Butch Cassidy. There is debate about to whom the terms butch and femme can apply, and particularly whether transgender individuals can be identified in this way.

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My heart melts every time. Oh, sweet girls, I SO get it. It wasn’t so long ago that I was a wide-eyed young gay hungry for the answers to a slew of my pressing questions about lesbian dating. It’s hard out there for a new lez.

Assuming that because she’s a girl, it’s impossible for her to be a f*ckboi. I don’t care if she’s a butch, a femme, a stem, a stud, a lipstick lesbian, a.

Nestled between the extremes of the hard, rough-and-tumble stud and the sultry, heel-wearing, lipstick-loving feminine lesbian is the soft stud, a unique hybrid community that I happen to identify with. Soft studs often embrace their womanhood before their masculinity. Since there are studs on the other side of this that take a mellow, less obvious approach to living their lives, the dating and love habits of the women who seek them need to accommodate them as well.

How, you ask? Soft studs can take control, be protective, be sexually aggressive and strong while still maintaining their femininity and gentleness. This is another way to emasculate your lady AND make her associate expressing her feelings with weakness. Rule to live by: We are NOT all touch-me-nots. Soft studs express themselves differently in the bedroom than some of the harder ones. Ask her what she likes, push your judgments down an elevator shaft to die, and be willing to learn.

Soft studs are not fifth-grade science projects that need to be worked on. In short, just let your soft stud LIVE!

The Butches and Studs Who’ve Defied the Male Gaze and Redefined Culture

When you touch me.. Your hand brushes against my thigh and every nerve throughout my system starts to tingle. I just feel your hand inching closer and closer to my upper thigh and can sense every bit of my excitement rushing down from my head to in between my legs.

More masculine-presenting black lesbians are embracing the idea of romance between butch women. Stud for stud – or S4S – women are.

Lesbian dating sites can help you find someone special locally or internationally. If you are having a difficult time finding someone you can connect with, it may be time to broaden your search and start dating online. You will discover that there are many different dating sites for lesbians. Take some time to browse through the sites before you start registering, and most importantly, paying any membership fees.

Here are some dating sites to start with:. You can take part in forum discussions, post or browse personals, chat with members , and shop at the online store. Lesbian Personals Online is a matchmaking site, which charges a fee to become a member. With your membership, you can receive a personalized profile, e-mail other members, send smiles to other members to break the ice, search its large database of lesbians, and share pictures. PinkCupid is a website under the Cupid family of dating websites and is intended solely for women over the age of Membership is initially free and allows users to browse the profiles of other singles and “express interest,” but in order to access additional features such as direct messages, a paid membership must be purchased.

The website is global, so women from all around the world are on this website. Compatible Partners offers a free membership to single lesbians, allowing them to browse profiles and review compatible matches. The website is specifically for women who are looking for a serious relationship and matches users based on an initial personality assessment. It’s free to “look” by registering and providing some basic information.

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Jump to navigation. A recent video posted by notable vlogger, Arielle Scarcella has a set of butch lesbians crush all misconceptions people have about their kind. For the uninitiated, butch lesbians are women who are more inclined towards being masculine than they are towards the idea of being feminine. With the world finally warming up to the idea of same-sex relationships, Scarcella thought it only fair to pay attention to this lesbian community sub-group. While the existence of gender roles is a disputed topic in itself–the lesbian community too succumbs to the societal pressure of constituting ‘male’ and ‘female’ attributes to the two women in a relationship.

and lesbians date masculine-presenting women instead of just dating a Queer men, butch women, and gender non-conforming folks can.

Anyone can identify as masculine, masculine of center, or be masculine-presenting. Some of us are shining brightly with masculinity, while others of us shine just a little bit in this respect, or not at all but we sparkle elsewhere! This implication is rooted in traditional constructions of masculinity and erases the many ways in which masculinity can be expressed and desired. Cisgender women can be masculine.

Queer men can be masculine. Asexual and agender folks can be masculine. And on and on. And remember that masculinity is a spectrum that we can move across over the course of our lives. One of the ways we can de-normalize heterosexuality is to stop assuming that everyone is straight unless they tell us otherwise.

Anyone can be feminine or be feminine-presenting, including cisgender men! So the question at hand is making layered assumptions about what it means to be a cisgender man, masculine woman, and a woman attracted to masculine women.

Butch vs. Stud vs. Tomboy: Putting Things into Perspective

Gendered restrooms. If I go in the women’s restroom, there’s a chance someone will think I’m a guy, but I can’t go into the men’s restroom because it’s basically just a giant pool of urine. When you look butch so people assume everything about you is butch. Just because I’m wearing a bowtie doesn’t mean I own a circular saw.

The characters are the creation of Oreet Ashery and twelve lesbian women for a girlfriend but may also date another stud that is more masculine than her’.

Discussion in ‘ Romance Alley ‘ started by christian , Jun 10, Lipstick Alley. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More. The man my friend loves is dating a stud lesbian Discussion in ‘ Romance Alley ‘ started by christian , Jun 10, Jun 10, 1. My homegirl just found out the man she was liking is dating a stud lesbian female. The stud lesbian dresses in man clothing as well as have masculine manly tendencies.

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A character transforms her life stories into the rooms of a house; another becomes a bin; others become a dream, a soft stud, a super lover and a gun who transforms into a camera The characters are the creation of Oreet Ashery and twelve lesbian women who fled Nigeria, Uganda, Angola, Gambia, Jamaica, Barbados and other countries after suffering traumatising discrimination against their sexual identity and orientation. The workshops explored alter egos as a way of talking about traumas; overwhelming memories; specific experiences with the legal system in the UK; and pressing questions around sex and relationships.

The characters are presented here as a series of archetypes intended to promote and facilitate discussion.

Butch and femme are terms used in the lesbian subculture to ascribe or acknowledge a It is known that butch–femme dress codes date back at least to the beginning of the 20th century as photographs from – exist of butch–​femme.

I recently read a Facebook status update from an acquaintance that stated, “I don’t understand why lesbians date women who look like men. If you’re into chicks that look like dudes, just get with a dude. However, I’ve only been asked about my preference for androgynous women by heterosexuals and gay men, never by another lesbian. Coming in at number 11 was “But if you like girls that look like boys If you like boys so much, why don’t you want to date my girlfriend who ‘looks like a boy’?

Case dismissed, overruled, approach the bench, goodnight. This may come as shocking news to some people, but it is a completely arbitrary, socially constructed standard that men should wear bow-ties and women should wear pearls, and not vice versa.

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To be honest, I dated her with the intention of experimentation. I was intrigued by the butch-femme dynamic that seemed to be so steeped in lesbianism and wanted to see what it would be like. Looking back, I realize how shallow and selfish I was to use her in satisfying my own curiosity, but the universe got me back when I ended up falling hard for a woman who had never so much as used concealer to cover a zit. I had no choice but to broaden my perspective in order to see things through her eyes.

Advice on stud lesbian dating: how to respect yourself, please your woman, maintain a healthy relationship, and how to let go when it.

My last couple of posts have been, well, pretty negative. While expressing my anger is healthier in blog form versus taking it out on people in my day-to-day life, I realize that to someone reading this, I may come across as quite the Debbie Downer. Base capitalism and gender stereotypes aside, I like any holiday that makes it acceptable to have chocolate for breakfast and wine for dinner. Some may argue that the meaning of V-day is actually love—love and sex.

So in honor of this wine-sex-chocolate-love holiday, and partially in response to my last post, I wanted to post ten things I love about dating a butch. My butch, specifically. Is chivalry dead? I never feel that I owe her anything afterward, like she expects sex or affection or reciprocation for something. She asked me out on an official date to a very fancy dessert restaurant, and I offered to cook for her; after the meal, we got dressed up: slinky black dress for me, suit and tie for the lady, and she drove me to dessert, holding my hand, opening doors, the whole nine yards.

Needless to say, what happened after we peeled each other out of our formal wear was amazing. All the fun of masculinity, none of the sexist oppression. Butches create and shape their own masculinity, and have an easier time building something more flexible and innovative than the tired stereotypes that get passed down from generation to generation of men and fit tighter than any corset.

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Personally, two years into my first-ever lesbian relationship, I’m very happy to take the time to acknowledge the amazing lesbians out there in the world — my girlfriend included. And, as someone who has had sex with women but only dated men before this relationship, I appreciate being in a lesbian relationship all the more. Firstly, I’m a bisexual and proud of it.

but not gay-the-people, and even members of my own butch-femme to my last post, I wanted to post ten things I love about dating a butch.

Find Happiness with Our Online Dating Services for Lesbians True compatibility means knowing that you and your partner share the same core values and outlook on life. Dating requires a certain amount of vulnerability. Masculine identified women are well aware of how the world views them. I was hoping that, by overgeneralizing things, I would open the door for others to join in and comment their thoughts on these labels — and I appreciate your idea that this was a shallow list.

Lesbian Dating – This system narrows the field from thousands of candidates to a select group of lesbian women. Lesbian labels span a wide spectrum. At the far-masculine end, we have the butch lesbians: The ones who look and act like men. At the far-feminine end, we have the lipstick lesbians: The ones who are often misappropriated as straight women. After a bit of examination, we should be able to determine the primary differences and start addressing our partners by the appropriate terms as long as the term is one they agree with; remember, labels are a very personal thing, and no one can assign a label to someone else.

This is a different category than trans men, as we have addressed in a previous article, but society may tend to lump the two together. Shortly after coming out, I made the mistake of telling a stone-butch that she was pretty — and she was rather offended! Butch women are also likely to have more masculine interests as well. Truly, butch women may be into cars, or sports, or even construction trades.

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